Maybe you wondered why I did the attachment exercise last time. The reason is simple.
Attachment is one of the biggest obstacles you’ll face when you try to accomplish your goals.
And it will actually hinder you to do the things that have to be done.
Of course, it all depends on how attached you are.
When you are like most people, the exercise went as followed (btw added it below for your convenience, do it).
You’ve pictured the situation, your heart started to beat fast, your pulse rose, and you had this pressure on your chest as if someone punched you in the guts. Maybe you even sweat.
And, depending on your style, you either got in a defensive stance, ready to strike back and fight for your life. Or curl inside, hoping the beating is over soon.
But did you notice, it was suddenly about you, not your work anymore. It was brought to you as a critic of your work and suddenly your mind turned that into a critic of yourself.
You replaced the work.
Suddenly, all the negative things became about you. And we tend to take that seriously.
If ourself is threatened, we fight back, play dead or run.
That’s a dangerous place to be.
It wasn’t about you at all but the work you did. That’s the main difference and the point we need to learn.
You are you. Your work result is your work result.
Don’t mix them.
Let me tease you the other side.
If you detach from your work, you don’t feel threatened and can actually listen and reflect on the critic.
You stay calm.
You can listen.
You can reflect.
You can improve.
See. Looks totally different and more helpful.
Think about it. What will help you more?
That’s it for today. If you haven’t done the exercise, continue reading as I’ve added it for your convenience:
Last week I got reminded why it was good that I let loose of my work and don’t identify with it much. And today, I’ll turn that into a short exercise for you.
Why?
Because a lot of your growth has to do with how you react to certain things. Like feeling hurt, shutting down, or getting angry when someone does not like the work you put out.
It prevents you from clearly seeing the problems with your own creations and being able to fix them.
So, take a few minutes of your time and imagine the following.
Remember the last time you did some work like maybe creating a blog post, doing some Excel magic, or whatever you do at work.
You finished it and showed it to your readers, boss or co-workers and they responded with negative feedback. They didn’t like some parts, didn’t agree with it or maybe they found a mistake or two.
Now, how did you feel in this situation? Which emotions came up and how did you react?
Feel free to reply or do it in privacy.
Next time, we’ll dive deeper into it.