Routines are the bane of my existence.
My arch-nemesis.
I can do them for months, sometimes even years but at some point, they just fall apart and are in shambles.
And I am off of the routine and probably won’t come back.
To make it clear, with routines, I mean stuff you do intentionally. Not the usual unconscious behavior and automatism we pick up.
For example, folks love creating a morning routine to start their day on good feet and with intention. Contrary to the usual rut of getting out of bed half asleep, preparing school lunch for the kids, and drinking a coffee so you can even be responsive to anything.
When you start such a morning routine, you have intentions behind. You want to change your typical rut to something that sparks joy and makes you aware, awake, and so on. So, you start getting up earlier, doing stretching, yoga, or even meditating before enjoying some you-time with a coffee or tea and heading off to work.
You force your way through for a couple of weeks or months with the hope the change will stick.
And then either magic happens, and it sticks.
Or your arch-nemesis says hello and ruins everything, and you’re back to start for a new round.
It happens to me too. Not with morning routines, as I don’t have one and never tried.
But with other stuff like meditating daily for over one and a half years before I stopped. Or doing daily drawing sessions for half a year and then it’s over.
And tons of other stuff.
Always pondered why it happens but never had a real epiphany. Until I’m writing this email to you.
Suddenly, 3 major reasons why things stop working for me at some point became clear.
My goal of why I did start is accomplished. For meditating, it was to connect with my subconsciousness and deal better with emotions, etc. Once I got to a good point and could maintain that without formal meditation, I just stopped.
Another is that the reasons why I started are not compelling enough or valid anymore. Reasons differ from goals as they push you towards something. Where goals pull you toward them. For example, a reason to move my body is to stay healthy, while losing 10 kg or so would be a goal.
Goals can be accomplished, and reasons stay and drive you.
And the last is that a trait of mine kicks in. I need to learn new things constantly. Something sparks my curiosity, then I dive into the topic, and at some point, my urge is satisfied, and I move on to the next thing.
It’s the arch-enemy of routine work.
Doing the same shit all time is so boring. And it can only be overridden by one of the others.
But whatever it is, I learned one other thing. Never beat yourself up if it does not work out. Beating yourself up makes things only worse and solves nothing.
Better be forgiving and find out with some distance why it did not work.
How do you deal with routines?