This week they opened schools here again but with a shorter in-person time than regular. Now my daughter isn’t working from home for the full week but has two school days per week and a third every other week.
Tuesday was the first day and I was actually looking forward to it because it means time home alone for me.
In silence.
No questions.
No disturbances.
Nothing.
I could just chill a half an hour and use the rest to get shit done.
At least, that was my plan.
But my mind had other plans.
The half an hour of chilling went on for a couple of more.
And at some point, I just gave up and chilled the whole time until she was back from school.
Nothing really got done.
But that is ok.
It wasn’t always like that. In the past, I’d be confused, angry at myself, and regretting that I wasted my time. All along, not realizing the real issue.
My subconsciousness picked a different task and gave that a higher priority than the one picked by my consciousness. And of course, it won. It’s like a 6 tons elephant wrestles with a squirrel and the squirrel is your consciousness.
And the task that was more important than my todos was regaining energy. And this happens to be with time alone for me; doing nothing, thinking freely.
The plans of my consciousness, on the other hand, would have just exhausted more energy. Energy I need desperately lately as it’s sucked out daily and almost no re-charges.
It took me a long time to understand and finally accept this subconsciousness-consciousness relationship and what that means for my life. But’s the best thing I ever invested in.